No more ‘r’-word

No more ‘r’-word
Lysander family launches MySpace campaign against calling people ‘retarded’

Alex and Trish Freid, of Lysander, have a message for the world: Stop using the “r”-word – retarded.

And they’re using the Internet to send this message. The couple set up a MySpace page for their 14-month-old son, Nathan, who has Down syndrome. They’re using his page to educate people about how hurtful the r-word can be even when it’s not used as a taunt. And if people agree to stop using it, they can sign up to be one of Nathan’s MySpace “friends.”

So far, 95 people have signed up.

“Nathan, you are the cutest baby ever and my family and I want to abolish the R word too!” wrote Kelseyy, one of Nathan’s new friends.

The Freids, who also have two daughters, acknowledge they used the r-word casually to mean stupid or goofy before they understood firsthand how hurtful it can be. They launched their effort on the social networking site MySpace, figuring they’d have the most influence on younger people.

“Kind of what we’re trying to do is put a face to it,” Trish Freid says.

Alex Freid says he’ll say something if a friend or acquaintance repeatedly uses the word. And he e-mailed Dane Cook, star of “Good Luck Chuck,” after he heard the word used in the movie.

“Morally and ethically, I would hope that you would see how this word could be very hurtful to a group of people who definitely don’t deserve the ridicule,” Freid wrote in the e-mail.

Shari Bottego, president of the 180-member Down Syndrome Association of Central New York, says the problem is the word’s negative connotation.

“The word itself means slow, but it’s always used in a derogatory sense,” she says. “Why go negative?”

Arc of Onondaga started as the Association for Retarded Children when it opened in 1951, but the agency later changed its name to Association for Retarded Citizens and then dropped the acronym altogether about 10 years ago, says Mike Kieloch, marketing and communications specialist.

Kieloch says the agency is committed to using language that puts the person first, before the disability (see box).

“We support language that recognizes them as a person,” he says.

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