“If I can get just one person to have that awareness and to make that change then I consider that a success.”

My mother worked at Sandhills Children’s Center, a developmental day-care center that provides ­inclusive services to children with special needs. So I have been around children with different levels of ­abilities since before I could walk.

The “R-word” (retarded) was never part of my vocabulary. As a child, I remember friends using it, but I never got the significance of how hurtful and derogatory it could be until I was an adult and working for First In Families and The Arc.

I was at Carowinds with a group for one of the many social/recreational activities The Arc offers throughout the year. A few of us were standing in line for one of the rides, behind a group of teenagers who were joking around when one of the kids called another one the R-word.

The executive director of The Arc, Wendy Russell, politely looked at the group and said, “You really shouldn’t use that word. It is mean and offensive to people with disabilities.” Nothing more was said.

That had a tremendous impact on me because I was with an individual who had a disability and understood what they were calling each other.

For most people, the use of the R-word isn’t meant to be offensive, but in fact it is hate speech. Like many other derogatory and dehumanizing terms, it sets the stage for more severe outlets for prejudice, harm and abuse. Our language reflects how we think, and how we think affects our actions toward people.

Ever since that day at Carowinds, I set as one of my personal goals to ­educate people about not using the R-word. If I can get just one person to have that awareness and to make that change then I consider that a success.

Michelle Bauer
Southern Pines